Seriously Wrong

Something is seriously wrong with todays society when you come to work and feel the urge to tell somebody to Grow the Hell Up!

What kind of world are we living in?

All I want to do is talk big girl talk with grown ups?

Who Does That?

I need a step by step program

to help me through my problems

I have a problem

I have an addiction

A very big addiction

To what you ask?

To

To

To

To

Spending Money

I never Over Spenders Anonymous

Is there such a thing?

I can't help myself.

My darling husband wants me to try and buy nothing for two weeks straight....other than groceries.

I sit here thinking if I go to the Super Store can I add clothing to my grocery list? You bet your bottom dollar I can.

Pathetic I know, but its true I really can.....if I go to the grocery store for food we need and stumble upon items in the grocery store aisle then I can buy it....it fair right?

right?

Oh god save me!

Count them...yep only 1

I only have 1 head, and no I'm not an alien or some strange being, I am your MOTHER!

Why is it our children think they are smarter than us?

I know, I know, I know....I thought the same thing but I am certain I was more like 10+ when I thought this.

Children have a way of making you second guess yourself and feeling your not confident in any decision you make? That sucks....she is very smart, she dupes me on many occassions although there have been situations where she has been right and I have been wrong...damn I hate those times.

But the best one yet is when we doing spelling tests and she tries to justify why and how she spelled a word correct when the dictionary says otherwise?

Damn Webster.....the dumb ass

The Proof is in the Pudding when it comes to MY Mother!!!!!

Yesterday brought on a whole new episode with my mother and I. You may have wondered why I speak so negatively about my mother...well here go......she is a figure head in my life but she is not a mother.......I never had a mother. I think I was possibly raised by wolves. That would explain a lot now wouldn't it? I may not have added quotes to all the conversation but this was all said out loud, I didn't hold anything back.

Here is the story.......


I went there yesterday and we we were talking and I said so what has 'K' decided to do with all of his winings... he won $50,000 November 1st.

Mom said "he thinks your idea is stupid", I said you told him what I said? why the hell did you do that?

She said well I thought it was a good idea for them to go to Disney too but he said it was dumb. I said he would have said anything was dumb that I suggested, I could have said go buy yourself a big ass truck and he would have argued that. I said don't talk about me to them ever....don't mention my name. What is wrong with you?

She says "what is life going to be like when I'm dead and gone, my children won't talk to one another..."I said when your dead and gone nothing will have changed other than the fact you won't be ramming their lives down my throat. If you think I will ever speak to them your dead wrong! They owe me an apology both of your ungrateful, retarded children do, I do not have 4 siblings I have two the other two can fuck right off.

She said you are so much like your father...he has no problem that you don't talk to them but I do....I said the only reason you have a problem is because you ignore their behaviour we can see through their bull shit, you condone the way they live their lives and handle themselves, if I were you I'd be more ashamed of who they become rather than bury my head but you've always been good at looking the other way eh mom?

Then I said "The nerve they have, all my life they have been waiting to get rid of me and now they have - CONGRATULATIONS! They do not exsist. Fuck them! The fact 'L' never wanted me to be in her wedding and you MADE her, yes mom I knew all along, I heard the fight. The fact you said you wouldn't come unless I was in the wedding was not your place."

She said well you were sick you coughed the entire time you stood up there. I said "for fuck sakes I wasn't SICK I was SCARED and I walked up the isle with an old man for god sakes, give your head a shake"..I am crying at this point....so I said so she didn't come to my wedding because she couldn't get over herself.....yeah no jealousy there...but I'm perfect because I don't drive drunk with children or anyone....yes I am perfect!

Then your baby boy turns around and asks me how to get his daughter out of a house because he has never had to think for himself; I help and then he calls ME the liar....oh yes - you raised some pretty fuckin smart kids I must say......I said if you think I am EVER going to talk to them your WRONG, WRONG, WRONG and when your dead and gone life will just be easier, I won't be hearing about their pitiful lives.......

They never want to darken my door or come to my funeral. Because I certainly won't be at theirs!!!!!! hell will never freeze over that much.

So don't will anything to them that I have to share because you can guarantee neither of us will. She said your the exector of the will. I said perfect, I'll leave their share at the end of the driveway. I was crying and so upset I yelled for 'B' to come and when she hugged mom she said "Grammy why did you upset my mommy so much"? Mom never answered her.....she just told her she loved her - what a surprise, she hasn't said that in forever to B. Now I'm about to cry all over again.......fuck I hate that woman!

The fact is that I have no family, I don't have people - nobody. I feel completely all alone in this world, I have nobody on my side, nobody to call on who cares for my well-being, nobody to say your being a jerk, its ok or whatever your doing your doing it right.

That kills me....All I ever wanted was non-retarded people I could call my own. I just want people who care enough to care completely-people I can call my own.

Why is that so fucking hard? My own mother didn't even hug me, she just looked at me with her mouth wide open like I had 3 heads.......fucking frozen hearted bitch!!

Oh and don't ask if she called last night....she didn't and she won't, she might come Thursday night but this convo will never be mentioned again........it didn't even happen in her eyes....

Fuel is Important

Its Friday! Yeah!

I love Friday's. So this morning I decided since DD has been in such a good mood all week and much easier to get around and up and going on time that I wanted to treat her to a hash brown at McD's. Just something to excite her.

We rushed out of the house and onward we went. I realized my gas guage was low so I checked my controls and it said I had 163 kms left. I thought to myself "perfect! I'll stop after work".

Well.......I pulled up to McD's drive thru, waited in line longer than anticipated but not that long. Drove to the school parking lot where DD chewed down the rest of her treat and drank her chocolate milk. I turned the car off, walked her to the bus drop off and on she went happy as a lark.

I got in my car, started it and everything started dinging......LOW FUEL....shit is what I thought.

So I said oh it will kick back to 100 kms left for sure - at least! Nope it didn't. The words LOW FUEL cause me to really freak the hell out. I hate having a low gas guage but my ever loving dim bulb husband keeps telling me that I have no reason to worry when I get low, I'll still be fine.

I coasted down the hill to the Ultramar and fueled up.

Man I was freaking out, I even put the car in neutral going down the hill to conserve fuel.

Cuz I'm that kind of a freak! ugh!

Ugh

Sorry for not posting in so long.

Guess I am just blogged-out!

I have tons to say I just do not have the energy to say them.

Wow! Wow! Wow!

I was just talking to a friend of mine who informed me her 19 year old daughter who has run away and been on drugs and well put her and the dad through hell and then brought them back to town then took them again and finally started to act right is now pregnant due in April.

They are going to be grandparents and their youngest child is 13 years old.

They are devestated to say the least.....although have decided to lay in that bed and suck it up.

They did lay down rules to their daughter to let her know that she is NOT living there forever with the baby and she must provide for her baby in any way she can, plus they will not be full time care givers or baby sitters to this child.

Did I mention the daddy is 28 years old...um yeah.....remember she is 19. He recently divorced from his high school sweetheart wife whom she is the one who chose to get the hell out.

Sounds peachy eh?

So grammy as she will soon be referred to is trying to make the best of this situation all the while is in turmoil over this situation.

Did I mention the mom-to-be is ADD and can't take her meds while pregnant so her mood is way up and way down. She has a blood disorder and will be very closely monitored after the baby is born.

You can only imagine my jaw totally hitting my desk to hear all of this.

This couple has had nothing but a fight raising both of their children, their son is as well ADD and on meds (trust me he had to be......oye).