FrisK-eh

OMG!

I love this, I think they are absolutely true you hit your sexual prime in your early 30's.

Coupled with my weight loss, well....lets just say.....wow!

Somethings Working

Great News!

I have lost a total of 17 lbs since last October! That makes me so happy. I have almost met my first goal, hopefully by next week my first goal will finally be met, I set my timeframe too soon the first time and figured I could have lost 20lbs by Christmas. What the hell was I thinking? That total set me up for failure. I see much clearer now and realize that could have never happened unless I ate nothing but lettuce for 2 months straight and that is no way to lose weight properly now is it?

My inch loss is awesome too, a total of 5.5 inches over all.

I am looking forward to go dress shopping for a special event in September.

My newest goal will be having to buy new undies by next month, and likely new pants since most of the ones I own right now will come off without unfastening them.

It makes bathroom breaks that much quicker now :o)

Happy Monday!

Purgatory Hell

I am very upset right now. I just heard that my best friends uncle is lost at sea along with a young fellow.

I am very sad to hear this and I can only hope it isn't what I think it is, the outcome will be celebrated not mourned.

How can this be?

In all the years my friends husband has fished I have never even realized how dangerous it truely is, I have only ever thought it was hard yucky sea-sickening job. Never once did I think he'd never return home from a day at work?

How does one deal with the news that your loved one may never return home? That you may never know what happened to make them not come home? That a physical body may never be "recovered", you will never see that person again alive or dead?

How the hell is that possible? Can you even wrap your brain arond that concept? I don't think I can?

They say no news is good news but today as I sit here at my desk twitching I surely do not think that.

Please if you are reading this, keep those fishermen in the front of your memory, think about them as if they were your loved ones, how would you feel, what would you do, sitting in this purgatory of waiting and hoping?

Augh!

I am frustrated........with many things, the list is long but I am......

Have you ever felt like everything is driving you nuts?

I try to get things done and to no avail I keep hitting a brick wall.

The more I run on the hamster wheel the less I accomplish. WTH?

I could scream! I just might.....but right now, I'm going to lay in the tanning bed and maybe the Vitamin D will suck the nasty mood out of me.

Wanna touch?

Oh I can feel it.....my muscles are beginning to emerge from my flab....oh yes they are and my bum is so tight, its lifting right up on its very own!

My legs are leaner and meaner!

My arms are beginning to buff up.

My hip bones have come to life and I've got ribs.

But man my ass is looking good.....I've even had a few comments and slaps from it.........

I like this

Backed Off

I have been so sick the past 6 days that I thought I was going to die. I wished to die at some points throughout the nights because I figured it would easier than living in the agony I was in.

From what you ask?

The common cold I say! Although from visiting the clinic yesterday I have been informed this is no common cold, this cold is N__A_S_T_Y! From my neck up I filled with bacterial infection.

I have both ears aching, my sinus's, my mouth is filled with canker sores, my eyes were running infection and my throat hurts like hell (but not strep throat hurt).

I am one hot lookin' peice of crap right now folks.

The doctor told me I could have never fought this by myself and had I not been seen it would have become a whole lot worse, she's had to hospitalize a few people because they waited too long to be seen, because they called it a "cold".

So I may have wanted to die, I in fact could have. Thats some crazy shit!

I now have some high-powered meds kicking this crazy ass cold right out of me, its my first day back to work in almost 1 week and I am thankful to be back in some kind of routine.

In the last 4 days I added up the hours of sleep I had and it was between 8 - 10 in total. I was exhausted.

I am on the up hill climb to feeling better, thank you god for saving me because there were times in the past week I prayed to be taken away......

Totally Back on ...

I'm back on the wagon, I promise I am.

I met with a trainer yesterday and realized my goal of losing 60lbs was way unrealistic for my body and bone density, etc.......she really made me realize I am not that overweight at all, although I am made up of a high number of fat percentage I need some of it and I need to lose 17% of it, which is totally doable in 6 months time.

I felt so much better. That 40 lbs is my ultimate goal.

That I can do. But not with her help, she wanted me to pay the low, low price of $4200 for 6 mths/ 3 times per week....I almost fell off my chair....sorry thats not in my range......

She did offer up a 6 week routine for me to follow and then come back to her. I'll follow this, she promises results and I believe her.

Here I go, I'm off to the gym......

How do I do that?

It never fails....I say yes I'll help, yes I'll go, yes I'll do and I think I am only doing small parts and then boom I am hit with all sorts of jobs, expectations?

I can't do it, I am one person trying to make it in this world.

I have received flak from co-workers because I said no thank you to the work and safety board for our building, I also said No thanks to the social committee as well. Yes, Yes I did....why, well my job keeps me very busy, I have a hard time to stay above water with everyone coming at me and so adding on meetings in other buildings, paying for parking and just taking more time than I have is not my idea as fun, especially when nobody in my building even get involved in anything, so why would I plan something they do not want to do?

The gym....oh the gym...I have been faithful since August 31st 2009 and you know what gym did for me? *F* all, well thats not entirely true, I toned, lost inches (not a lot) and 10 lbs...have you seen me? I've got a ton more than 10 lbs to lose people. I was not a happy camper, the effort I have been putting forward has yeilded very little output.

So on January 1, 2010 I vowed to start counting calories, I limited my calorie intake less 800, I was totally over-eating. My entire household now eats off of dessert plates, why? Because we all eat too much period.

For the last month I have hit the gym the same if not harder. I injured my foot in a bad way...I knew I hurt it in October of last year but I sealed the deal in December and had to go get orthotics for my feet....*groan*

My calorie counting has been fantastic, not at all too hard and I've been brutally honest. It has improved my innards by 110%, my skin/acne has all but gone, I raised my fibre intake through the roof and that has been great.

So that takes me to the 1 month mark where I re-measured myself, re-weighed......I could have cried....I lost 1.8 lbs since last month, but my inches was down 3.5", yes that is great but the scales never hardly moved..how the hell is that possible with all of my effort?

I worked damn hard.

So today I met with a personal trainer who told me I was doing very well and I am dedicated and I am strong and on the right track I need to be....although the scales/inches aren't dropping off like I want them to because of a couple different reasons.......

I can't afford to keep her but I think I can go forward from here and feel much better.

I am doing this.....I will be in top form for October...I will. This I vow to you my friends.

Wish me luck......because there are days I am going to need it.

So as you can see, I have no time for anyone else but me right now...yes I'm being selfish and damn it I like it.