Tell me what would you do if you were put into this type of situation....
I know someone who is close to me but not family who I have felt has had a drinking problem for some time now. This person talks about drinking all the time, is drinking all the time and isn't in a good mood unless they are drinking.
It was funny in the first term but in the past year the signs are very hard to ignore. I know this person has been drinking and driving - I have witnessed it. I also know that I will feel terribly guilty if they hurt themselves or heaven forbid someone else.
What you all need to know is I am dead set against any drinking and driving whatsoever. I came very close to being involved in a scene where my cousin died and the memory of this has never left me. Every July 28th I recall that night that I refused to go to that 2nd party with him, my boyfriend and I went home - he drove us home, while he and his buddy headed to the other party - they didn't make it, the car crashed and my cousin died a horrible death. My boyfriend called me the next morning, we were the last people to see him alive. Since that fateful day I refuse to have one drink and drive ever.
Back to this person I know.....this person called me at 1;30 am last night to tell me they hit a deer and were very drunk and it was totally confidential information they were giving me but again said they were very drunk, I said ok in my stuper and never slept the rest of the night.
Why do people think they are invinceable? What if you killed someone after only having a beer on the way home, one beer can impare some people. Why take the chance of having to live through something like this every single of day of life?
I don't understand it and I want to talk to this person, but now is not the time and I can imagine them becoming very hostile. When is a good time to chat about how much they seem to be drinking? I know this person will be very mad if I attempt this at all but nobody else seems to be saying anything? Do I ignore it and watch until something worse happens and I can say "oh I knew but chose to not get them mad at me?".
I have my own family members who drink and drive and they know I'm serious about it. My own brother has been caught many times and our last conversation was "if you killed my kid I'd stalk you and kill you with my own bare hands". Since then (7 years ago) he has never drove drunk.
Drinking and Driving kills. Remember that. Its not a risk I am willing to take. Ever!
RIP Billy
5 comments:
Last night should have been a wake up call for your friend - and if it wasn't, then your friend's problem is bigger than you may think. Don't let this slide by - something needs to be done. Do you ever go to your cousin's grave site? If so, why not take your friend along and, at the site, share the story. You could also offer to be a "taxi" for this friend, although that may become too much based on what you have said about this "habit". Unfortunately, most people in this situation aren't aware that they do have a problem or they are in complete denial. If you need a reason strong enough to get you past the thought of making a friend angry, look into those beutiful brown eyes that call you Mommy every day. Your speaking up may not change anything for your friend, but this is too important not to try.
Thanks Kim. I have replayed a lot of scenarios in my head and their only defence will be it was a deer and everyone hits a deer at any given time. I wonder if this person has any clue they actually told me they were very drunk. This person would deny it, I have already had someone die of alcoholism in my family and she lied like a cheap rug to cover her drinking.....I know this person would do the same.
She knows my thoughts on drinking and driving but I feel this person pretends to not notice.
its a really tough spot.
Drinking while Impaired has so many risk factors involved.
It is the Heaven Forbid they hurt somebody else. It is basically suicide in my opinion if they take their own life while drinking behind the wheel. It is Murder when they take the life of the innocent while driving Impaired.
*If* I knew somebody that was drinking and driving I would tell them out right - you do it again and if I know of it I will be calling the cops on you. End of story.
Yes, it may seem pretty brutal and you may loose a friendship over it but in the long run unfortunately if they don't stop you may loose in their death. :(
I don't even know what to say Mel. As you know, in my family, this is a daily occurence. I have talked to my mother, aunt and grandmother about calling the cops on "them" the minute they start driving but then I get the whole betrayed looks, how could you suggest that comments, etc ... From them ALL.
I guess I would say the only thing you can do is talk to this person ... if they won't make the right decision next time, then it's time to call the cops when they get behind the wheel. Maybe it will help them hit rock bottom quicker. Until then, they won't want help or even understand why there's a problem with drinking and driving.
I will be honest, and this will probably come back to bite me in the ass, but I have driven drunk. Once. And that was all it took. I did it only because I was pressured to do it, as I was the soberest of the bunch. And I can tell you, I will never do it again. It was an awful experience - the lack of balance and equilibirum, the slow reaction time ... NEVER AGAIN. I was terrified all the way home. I'd rather walk than get behind the wheel like that again.
Jay I am glad that one and only time was a good lesson. I am glad you or nobody else was hurt. Imagine 25 years ago it was normal? Scarey thought eh?
As you know where I live I am nervous driving on a Friday or Saturday night late at night for fear there is likely someone on the road who is drinking and driving......I shutter at the thought.
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