Atta-justment

Do you ever just walk around pissed off?

This has been the weekend from hell for me. So much for me relaxing, I get into trouble when I relax and try to do things for myself because I over extend myself or put my own shit on the back burner and I'm the one who loses out.

I am sick and tired of everyone "wanting" something from me.

Yesterday had me on a play date for 3 hours, during the exact time I wanted to be at a Zumba event! WTH? I understood the play date to be a drop off for a few hours, which was perfect that DD was in town with me we could do groceries afterward and enjoy our time together. That was so not the way it played out, which is fine whatever, I like the other mom and she is funny but ...... in the end the girls wanted to play elsewhere which meant her home or someplace else. Off they went without me.

I rushed to hit the tail end of the event and realized it was all really old ladies? hmmmm? Ok so I left and as I was coming onto St. Mary's Street this lady in a car was coming right toward me talking on her cell phone in MY lane.....she made no attempt to move, she was way over, I was sure she would move, she didn't until the last minute we both swerved and I went BANG on the sidewalk and I was very upset but not once did I think to get out and LOOK? I have no idea why?

I decided screw all this I'm going to see a movie by MYSELF!!!! It was wonderful, it brought me back to centre.

I rushed off to pick up DD from her play date and go get my few groceries. As I was walking in an older gentlemen was walking by and commented on my tire, my hubcap was destroyed and sticking out, my tire had a little piece of rubber hanging from it and my rim was BENT! Luckily no air pressure was lost but I then decided to rush off to my mom & dads to get it checked to be safe. DD pleaded to stay there for a longer play date! I could have killed her, she wouldn't stop! You can only imagine the railing that child received on the way up the highway, I was freaking, thinking my tire would burst on our trip up, I drove 50 the whole way. Oh it was terrible!!

Hubby called at that very moment to tell me he was safe and sound and at his destination and he asked me where I was I burst into tears.....no you know I'm not a crier but I was so upset and frazzled and mad at myself for being a dumb woman and not thinking straight and not doing what I had intended on doing that day and yadda, yadda.......I was not in a good place!

I got to my dads and he hammered out the rim, luckily no major damage!!!! Its all good now.

DD wouldn't leave grammy & grampy's house then, I was exhausted and my allergies are killing me, I want to rack out my eyes at any given moment lately. I was so mad at her!!!! I lost it on her and flipped out! Ungrateful, not thinking clearly children will put me through the roof, for her to even to open her mouth at that point was all too much for my nerves!!!!

Which brings me to today.......my allergies are even worse, I'm horse, I'm tired, I have no groceries and that child wants to go, go, go! I am tired, my eyes are burning, I sound terrible!! I took her to Sunday School and she begs to go play with 2 little girls afterward....OMG! Not again! Their mom suggests they will come out later......all I wanted to do was sleep, really I did.

Out they come and my stomach is terrible, all upset, I think its from my nerves and they wanted to go on a bike trip on a side road nearby, this chick was not leaving the house with my poor belly in a mess! Her kids cried that they weren't leaving the yard, I pretty much said "fine pack your bikes up and leave then, if my house isn't good enough"...their mom calmed them down and they biked but every 2 seconds a kid was at us for something...WTH? I was very nasty to my own kid and in the end they did leave and my kid ended up in her room, do you know what she asked me?

Can I go to Sam & Becky's house for a little bit?

WHAT? REALLY? This kid hasn't got a clue has she? She has lived with me for 8 years and still doesn't know when to keep her damn mouth shut? WHAT? O-M-G! In order to save her own life I sent her to her room and shut the door.....I didn't dare go near her, I couldn't.

I feel absolutely terrible for the way I acted, but I'm pissed off! I just mad.

I wanted to scrub my floors, I have no idea when the fuck that is going to happen, I need a GD haircut, the woman comes to my door, no time, no money!

I'm drowning in my own to do's that I can get to-done!

I just want to read my novel and not be interuppted.

God save me!

I think I need a serious Attitude Adjustment?